


touch starved

by GarrillaGal



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: M/M, Season 4 Spoilers, i may have self projected a little, it's emotional, lots of hugs, pidge and hunk are only mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-07
Updated: 2018-01-07
Packaged: 2019-03-01 17:46:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13300014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GarrillaGal/pseuds/GarrillaGal
Summary: All it takes is one hug from Lance for Keith to completely fall apart.





	touch starved

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was inspired by this pic http://emuyh-art.tumblr.com/post/169365580137/concernjpg by @emyuh-art pls check out their blog it's super good

Keith's body aches. The Blade has been working some pretty severe missions lately, and Keith is struggling. Of course, he won't mention that when he gets back to the castle ship. Noooo, his friends are going to believe that Keith is doing extra well in the Blade and his fellow members love his presence

Gee, Keith! You sure are just as fast, strong, and level-headed as us!

It's not like his old team would do anything if they knew how hard the Blade of Marmora was on him. They would just think, "Oh, well, we don't need you here, so just keep slowly eroding your body with the Blade!"

Okay. They wouldn't say that. But what would they do? They wouldn't immediately accept him back, but they wouldn't push him away. Keith thought about this as he entered the lower shipping deck. Coran spoke into the screen.

"The paladins are prepping for the coalition performance on planet Xoskap. No worries! The Xoskapians are already more than willing to join us, so it won't take long."

Keith boarded his private ship and returned to the castle. It had been a while since his last visit. Everything looked the same, but it made his chest feel hollow. He took in a deep breath and headed to the control room. He could join the audience and watch his friends show off their giant space lion man. He could be supportive and cheer. He could return to them and contribute to the team. But the mere thought of seeing his friends do so much better without him stopped him from doing anything. He could hear the cheers coming from outside the castle.

Curiosity bit him in the ass, so he took a look out the control room windows. It was the best view. He could see all of the little aliens at the ground. There were thousands, maybe even millions down there. He gulped. The lions were all sitting next to each other, but the paladins were outside of them talking on a stage. Allura had the mic, but Keith couldn't make out what she was saying. The audience cheered again. The paladins were starting to make their way to the lions. The crowd was going crazy now.

It was like a Jet Show performance on Earth. The lions flew over the crowd and did it. They formed the giant space lion man. Keith looked away and walked to the doors. He realized he didn't want to be there anymore. He walked out to the living area with the couches and took a seat. The silence was much preferred. He tried his best to relax, but the latest mission had him on edge.

Near death experiences were starting to get old. Just hours ago, Keith was getting information from a Galra ship on a melting planet. How would that even make sense? Why would the planet itself be melting? Keith crossed his arms and waited less patiently. He was sure the looks on the paladins' faces would be pretty glum. Especially after seeing an ex friend sitting in their presence.

Gosh, Keith is here. Hurray.

Suddenly the doors opened and Keith shot up. His bones cracked as he did. In came his old friends. Allura and Coran were chatting as Lance, Hunk, and Pidge all were bouncing with adrenaline. Shiro noticed him first.

"Keith, welcome back." He was calm, collected, cool. Shiro was always so great. A natural born leader. Why couldn't Keith be more like him? Keith gave a smile and shook his left hand. Allura joined Shiro's side and gave a welcoming smile.

"It's good to see you. Were you sent from the Blade?" She asked. Keith nodded.

"Yes. They wanted me to ask you guys some questions regarding a planet you tried contacting about the coalition. I think it was planet Dilabor. we can't seem to contact them, and we've been debating whether or not we should."

"Oh, yes. Here." She led him to the control room, "We tried to offer a meeting, but they hurriedly declined us. We weren't sure why." Keith could hear Lance explaining to Hunk how all the girls in the crowd were screaming his name. How the girls all ogled at the red lion. Keith hurried his pace.

~~~

A few hours later  they had concluded that Dilabor had been seized by the Galra. The civilians they were contacting were the very few of survivors. Allura offered them the coordinates to the ship, and they accepted. The would arrive in dobaches. Keith sent a message to Kolivan and prepared to leave.

"Keith, would you like to stay aboard the ship for the night? We are staying until morning to have a feast with the Xokapian's head council." Allura offered. Oh boy, an invitation. It had to be out of pity. Maybe Shiro told her to invite him. There was no way she did it from her own heart.

"Thank you, Princess, but I really should get going. We're supposed to have a mission coming up." Keith lied. Kolivan told him to stay a day or two at the castle to "gather information" but it was really just a way to get rid of Keith. Keith wasn't always compliant. Big deal. Well, for Kolivan it's a huge deal. Keith said goodbye and made his way back to his ship. He stopped when he saw Lance laughing with Pidge in the kitchen. They were eating the usual space goo and talking about their performances. Lance did a small dance and Pidge was cracking up. Keith watched the familiar smiles and smiled to himself. They were doing just fine without him.

His ship was just how he left it. He got inside and started the engine. He sat there for a second and tried his best not to let any tears slip out. He didn't think he was a crier until recent events. He was doing so good with keeping it all inside. Just bottling it up. But now it was hard. The sudden shifts in authority and friendships were taking a number on him. He took a shaky breath and started the thrusters. The door to the front deck opened, and he stopped. It was Lance. He was waving his arms and yelling something. Keith killed the engine and stepped out.

"Hey! You're not even going to say goodbye?" Lance had a grin on his face and his arms open wide. He was always ready for a hug. Before Voltron he would have spit at Keith's feet. Now he was patiently waiting for a hug from his ex-enemy ex-friend. Keith approached him cautiously and held out his hand. No hugs from Keith today.

"Come on, don't be so shy." Lance smiled and took Keith's hand. They shook hands, but Lance pulled him into a hug. It was like splashing into water. Lance was so warm and refreshing. He smelled clean like the Altean soap on the ship. Keith probably smelled like bad space dust. Lance's arms could wrap around Keith's entire body without any strain. He was like a childhood teddy bear.

Keith never realized how much he missed being so close with someone. The Blade does not do hugs. They nod and shake hands, but never a hug. They're so uptight and cold. Keith thought he would love that sort of contact, but soon noticed how much it hurt being so distant from his old friends. Keith was utterly touch starved. He hugged Lance back even tighter and tried not to regret it. Lance stiffened as the hug went on longer than expected.

"You okay, buddy?" He asked. Don't cry, don't cry, don't  _ fucking cry _ . Keith could already feel his eyes getting wet at the thought of leaving. He tried his best for so long to keep it all in, but here he was, giving up because of a hug. Keith sniffled and Lance pulled back, keeping his arms on Keith's shoulders. His eyes were wide, but his eyebrows dipped down in concern.

"Woah, Keith. Is everything alright?" Keith looked to the floor and wiped his face. God, this is embarrassing. He pushed Lance's arms away harshly.

"I'm fine. I need to leave." He snapped in response. He turned his back on Lance and started to head for the ship. Lance grabbed his shoulder and turned him around.

"Wait, hold on. Please." Keith stopped, but didn't look up. He wanted to get in the ship and cry to himself on the way back to the Blade's base, not in front of Lance.

"Keith, look at me." It was quiet. Space was a deafening nothingness. Keith didn't want to look up, but he felt his neck moving against his will. Lance was looking at him with an expression Keith had never seen before. He knew Lance was a pretty sensitive guy, but he never thought he could care that much about other people's feelings. Especially Keith's. Keith sniffled and looked at him.

"I know the Blade isn't easy. I know that  _ this _ isn't easy. But you're not on your own. We're here for you.  _ I'm _ here for you." He chided. Keith could feel more hot tears running down his cheeks. It was all he wanted to hear, but he could never believe it. Sure they were here for him, but did they really care? He tried his best not to argue. He just listened.

"I know people say 'you can talk to me' and they don't always mean it, but  _ damnit keith _ , I mean it. You might not want to, but you really need to. Don't try to bottle it all up. I'm here for you." His hand was still on Keith's shoulder, and his grip tightened. Keith was close to sobbing now. He needed to get out. Run away. But it was too late, Lance was already closing in on his thoughts.

"Do you understand? You are not alone." Lance raised his arms again. "Is it okay if I hug you?" Keith nodded and let Lance embrace him again. Keith didn't hug back this time as he tried his best not to completely lose it. Lance's hand reached up to the back of Keith's head and he tangled his fingers through his hair. Keith was starting to lose it. He wished he could say it was like the bottled up emotions were slowly spilling out, but it was more like the bottle was fucking exploding. He wrapped his arms around Lance and really started to cry. His sobs shook their bodies and ripped through space's silence. Lance moved his arms back and forth, rubbing his back, trying to sooth him. Keith held on tight. He didn't want to go back to the Blade of Marmora. He didn't want to fight the Galra. He wanted to be right there in Lance's arms. They stood there like that for what seemed like hours. Once Keith finally calmed down, they separated.

"Everyone's gone to bed right now. Why don't you come back to the living area, and I'll get you something to eat." Lance offered. Keith just nodded his head and followed him back through the castle. He had given up trying to seem strong and level-headed. Lance knew Keith wasn't always strong, but he didn't have to know how weak he was.

They were sitting on the couches next to each other. The castle was just as quiet as the outside. Keith refused to eat and just looked down at his hands in his lap. Lance was on his right sitting quietly. They sat so close, their thighs were almost touching and their shoulders brushed against each other.

"You don't have to tell me everything. Just tell me what's on your mind." Lance coaxed. It was so easy for him to be calm. Keith didn't understand how he could be so warm and kind. He always thought it would be a pointless arms race between them, but here they were.

"Well, uh, I miss all of you. A lot."

"We miss you, too." Keith looked at Lance. He looked like he meant it. Yes, of course they miss him. They have to.

"Right."

"Keith, we really do."

"Right." Lance pulled at Keith's shoulder to grab his attention.

"Listen, I know you think we don't care about you just because you don't pilot a lion anymore, but we still love you." Keith tensed at the word 'love.'

"During war, things get tough. I mean, we're in space! Things are crazy right now, but we never forget the ones who were with us along the way. You have no idea how much you have already contributed. You remember the black lion, right? How you lead the team for a while?"

"I wasn't very good at it."

"You were learning. You were making progress to become a better leader. It made us all work together even more. If you were still leading, we'd probably be making a lot of progress right now." Lance admitted.

"Shiro is a better leader."

"Shiro is a different person. You can't compare yourself to him or any of us. We are all different with different backgrounds and experiences. Shiro is older and has more knowledge than us. With time, you can become just as good, or even better than him."

Keith sat there. He knew Lance was right. Dammit, he was right. Comparing yourself to someone with years of training is unfair. Keith could feel his dry eyes starting to moisten again. He thought he cried it all out before, but Lance's encouragement made him think twice. He thought back to all the times he led the team in the wrong direction. It hurt to see the looks on their faces when they realized Shiro could lead again. They all looked so happy and relieved. Keith was happy he was back, too, but it still hurt. Another tear rolled down his cheek. Lance handed him a tissue. They were prepared this time.

"I'm sorry. You probably think I'm really weak now." Keith said while wiping his tears.

" _ What? _ I don't think you're weak." Lance was wide eyed. "I think you are very strong. You've kept this all in for so long. It's even stronger to let it out. Not everyone can do that, Keith."

Keith looked up at Lance. He was being honest. The lover boy apparently had a soft side. Where was all of this coming from? How did Lance suddenly become an expert on emotions? Keith sniffled again and started to tremble. He was so tired. He had probably been up for the equivalent of twenty Earth hours. He wanted to sleep, but his mind swerved in every possible direction. His head was starting to throb. Lance rested his hand on Keith’s thigh to grab his attention again. He lifted his arms again. Before he could speak, Keith pushed their bodies together and wrapped his arms around Lance’s torso for another hug. They sat like that for a long time, just embracing each other. Keith’s breathing finally slowed to a normal pace and he shut his eyes. Lance was warm, welcoming, and surprisingly soft. This is what he wanted. What he needed. Lance laid on his back and played with Keith’s hair as he started to fall asleep on his chest.

Maybe everything will be alright, Keith thought. Maybe this whole space war will end, and maybe it won’t. The only thing that mattered right now was that he was not alone. He had friends. He had Lance. And maybe he and Lance would spend a lot of nights like this. Maybe it would be reversed, and Lance would be the one crying in Keith’s arms. Just maybe. Maybe it’s all going to be okay. Keith hugged Lance tight one last time and drifted off to sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. I just wanted someone to give Keith a real hug. lol I wrote this in one sitting and almost cried twice.  
> self projecting? i don't know her


End file.
